working while grieving

I’m not at the point in my entrepreneurial journey where I can take time off for bereavement. It’s me, myself, and I behind the keyboard so taking time off to grieve over the loss of my father, and later my mother, wasn’t really an option. I still needed to show up for it all, including homeschooling our children and running my business. If you’re grieving and trying to do all.the.things, here are five ways I managed emotions and exhaustion while mourning. Maybe they’ll help you (or a friend) too.

My Mom in uniform

1. Everyday is different. 
Accept that and don't beat yourself up about it. Each day you’ll feel different in your grief. Pick one thing to complete on your to-do list each day and focus on that. Multi-tasking is for computers.

2. Everyone handles grief differently. 
Skip the comparison game. It’s not healthy when you’re not mourning so let’s not even go down that road while you’re grieving. Stay in your lane and put the blinders on.

3. Extra self-care is necessary. 
Schedule it. If you find you need a nap in the afternoon, take it. If you find you need to dial back your usual networking, there’s no shame. You’re better off taking the time now than burning yourself out later.

4. Enforce boundaries.
No is a complete sentence but if you feel the need to elaborate, simply be honest. You don’t have to give all the details but enough so the other person understands you need time and or space.

5. Pray.
Pray for and to your loved one. My faith teaches that we need to pray for the souls of the dead. While there is a debate amongst theologians if these holy souls can also intercede for us, this doesn't stop you from paying. What a gift of giving and receiving, take comfort.

​Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,
and let Your perpetual light shine upon them.
May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed
rest in peace.
Amen.